Friday, August 31, 2012

A blog reborn!

I am not a born blogger so I make no promises about where this blog is going and I am sure it will be jumpy, just like my brain. I'm not sure I can say this is my dramatic return to the spanking world but it is a return none the less. To be honest it's a return to a lot of things in my life.

So what has changed for me? I have to say that on the surface not a lot. I am still at the same job, I am still attached to my ever patient partner, and I am still trying to find ways to help the enviornment. It's more of an attitude change within myself. I am no longer caring as much about fitting in. I am different, I am no longer going to deny that to myself. I am not sick because I want to be spanked (yes this is one of those phases I am not proud of). I am simply me.

I saw on facebook a while ago this pic and I wanted to share it because it made me feel good.
Photo: There will karma day for them all.

Why did it make me feel good? Cause even if I don't believe in that particular religion, I know that I don't have to be the one who has my own back. I have a loving family, a good support system, but every so often something happens and they can't help. When that happens, I know Karma's got my back. 

I also know that Karma's gonna kick my butt if I do something stupid or am in a foul mood. Such as the mood I was in a few nights ago. Hubby (I really do need another name for him!) ended up coming home early, I got my bum smacked a couple times, and my mood was lifted. The night was saved!

I renamed this blog a little while ago to The Flip Side of the Moon. I'm not sure why but it seemed appropriate. The dark side of the moon was already taken and the flip side of me is my pen name. And lets face it, the moon is awesome (enjoy the full moon tonight)!

Anyone else find comfort in karma? (Be careful! It's listening....)

Stay safe everyone,

Felicia

Monday, August 20, 2012

Hand prints and giggles

I have been married for a couple years and despite knowing my husband for more than 10 years it's still difficult to talk to him about certain things. Neither of us grew up in a household where open discussion happened and often things went unsaid.

I am a quiet person by nature and I have a lot of difficulty talking about my feelings. I can manage to do so when I write and only marginally. I have been wanting to incorperate spanking into our relationship more and more but it's difficult to talk about it. I doubt myself, I doubt that he will love me after I ask (it's a stupid doubt but it's there none the less) and to be honest I am not even sure how I want to incorperate it into our relationship. Misguided feminism has made it more complicated (but that's another post I am working on). But I digress!

Yesterday he was so sweet he made me cry when he told me how he felt about me. I almost brought it up again but I couldn't bring myself to. I keep quiet and life goes on...

Now, I am not a brat by any means. I don't come up with quick-witted remarks or play practical jokes. However...something I said yesterday led to a poke, which led to a spank, which led to a struggle...which led me to be bent over the edge of the bed and a couple swats applied rather vigerously to my behind.

I was elated and I grinned up to see him staring stone-faced at me. I stopped immediately, wondering what was wrong. I finally figured out he was staring at the hand print clearly visable on my flesh. He is clearly conflicted about how he feels on what he has done.

What do I do??? I started to panic. What if I do the wrong thing and he never spanks me again? What if he thinks I'm a freak and leaves me?

My body decided for me when my brain couldn't make up it's mind.

I started to giggle before breaking out into a body shaking laugh. He looks up at me, a smile slowly forming. The smile turns into a smirk  and eventually he comes and sits on the bed. He rubs my bottom and I am in heaven.

Now, lets just say that it was a good night and leave it at that. This morning I get a text telling me his muscles are sore and it's my fault. I take a deep breath and say something to the effect that at least he doesn't have hand prints on his rear and that I am going to have to teach him to do that properly.

After what seems like an eternity (really it was only 2 minutes) I get a message back. Oh a smiley face! So here I sit with a printed bottom (I bruise like a peach) and a happy heart.

Keep safe everyone!

Felicia

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Cross one off the bucket list!

So here we are in 2012!

I must confess something...I forgot this blog existed. I had it in the back of my mind that I had created one but I was convinced that I had shut it down. Today I found myself looking back at the posts I made years ago and it makes me smile a little. Oh how naive they sound...

I'd like to think that I have matured a little, found myself a little, explored life a little more. I know I have certainly changed and hopefully for the better. So why the long pause? Well...

Over a year ago I came to the conclusion that I didn't want spanking to be part of my life. I convinced myself it was wrong to want, that I needed to cleanse myself. I abandoned the stories I was writing, the websites I visited, and tried to eradicate every thought of it out of my mind. I have no idea what I was thinking or why I would even consider it. I was almost successful! But....

Then my computer started to act up and I had to back up all my files. I purchased an (rather expensive!)external hard drive and started to move all my documents over. I had a folder where I kept all my stories (both vanilla and kinky) and I opened one I had not in years, wondering what it was about.

Damn!

I vaguely remember trying to put the story in the recycling box.

Damn. Damn. Damn!

It was rescued and placed in the backup hard drive.

*It gets a little heavy here so skip to the next green line if you want the light and fluffy*

I had written the majority of the story when I was sixteen and dealing with nightmares and suicidal thoughts. Through writing, I found a way to make those thoughts and visions turn into something a little more positive. The heroine always lives and good triumphs over evil. Yes, that is not the way of the world works but eventually my world did become lighter and I finished off most of the story. I spent the next few years pick it over and eventually it fell by the wayside as life took over again.

*Heavy Stuff over now*

A long story short: I started reading spanking blogs again and eventually made my way back into the literary world. Having a little more disposable income than in my student years, I decided one day I was going to buy a spanking novel.

One became three...and I decided that it was not as scary as I thought it would be. Some were not my style, some I really enjoyed. I decided I wanted to try and actually finish my story. What was the harm?

Some long nights were had but I had done it! I had a workable story I was finally happy with.

Longer story shorter: I sent it in to http://www.blushingbooks.com on a whim. I waited (im)patiently for the polite rejection letter I was sure was going to come. But...

A couple months later the story became an e-book. An e-book! My little happy dances still happens every once and a while...

The Fairy of Everglade

So now I can cross one more thing off my bucket list!

I plan on keeping this blog a little more alive. I have found my way back to something that has been part of my life for as long as I can remember and hopefully will continue to be part of it.

That's it for now!

Keep safe!

Felicia Nemo