Saturday, September 8, 2012

Conflict within...

Despite all the horrible things happening in the world, we do live in a wonderful age. Women in particular have found a voice and gained rights that 150 years ago would have been thought of as unheard of.

Women have a lot to thank women's liberation for:
1. The right to vote
2. The right to work (and be fairly paid for that work)
3. The option to attend any type of educational program (such as medical)
4. The right to divorce
5. The right to be in a non-abusive relationship

The list goes on and on!

I love women's lib. I cannot imagine my life without it. I am the first to cry foul when women are not treated equal as men. I am the first to point out that women have a lot to offer in many fields such as politics, law enforcement etc. Women need to be an integral part of the solution to global warming and world hunger.

Women are strong, independent creatures who don't need to rely on men anymore for their survival!

But there is a problem....

There was now pressure that women needed to be independent. When I was growing up, looking forward to starting a family was expected (thank you sex education) but planning on being a stay-at-home mother was frowned upon. I can understand the need to make sure you are able to support yourself but when a teenager who is being told that when (and not really if) she starts a family she needs to be able to work at the same time as raising them. I had always thought that I would be working while starting a family as most of us where I was had both parents working. It stunned me though, at the age of 13, that it was not something that was accepted. Not encouraged I get. But not accept?

Sex education is a great thing and now that I see it as an adult I am glad that the sentiment is not there as much. Boys now have the options to be stay at home father with less of the stigma that existed even five years ago. I am sure it is different depending on where you live but where I live in Canada, among people of my generation, it doesn't even merit a bat of an eye.

So what does this post have to do with spanking? Glad you asked!

Feminism/Women's lib, like all good intentioned movements, can cause unforeseen consequences. Society went from women being the good homemaker, bare foot and in the kitchen, to having to make their mark on the work world. For a while, at least from where I stood, there was no happy median. I not saying that every place in the world went through the same transformation, not by any means, and some have not even gotten to that point, but for the western part of society I am in, this is pretty much the norm.

Now to the point: Wanting to be spanked went against every feminist fiber of my being. I was not suppose to submit myself to anyone. I had a really hard time coming to terms with this because women are suppose to be so strong therefore of course they should never want to be spanked, even for fun. I might have also had control issues but that's another post!

Abuse is not acceptable, no matter your age, race, gender, or sex. I think there was a mentality with me that obviously if I wanted to be spanked, that I was ok with being abused and that was in no way acceptable.

I am starting to move past that mentality. I am a recovering ultra-feminist where having it all is not what is expected but a choice I can make. It's a slow process, and there are slips, but I will make it. Perhaps this is why I write historical fiction where it's easier to make those decisions? Literarily speaking of course! (Yes I know that's not a word but it make sense to me!)

Women's liberation has taught me many things but one of the most important one is that I have the right to choose. I can choose to be a stay-at-home mom. I can choose to live in a relationship when I can submit without feeling shamed. I can be spanked without submitting. I can be a woman without being defined by feminisim.

Society as a whole just needs to catch up now.

Stay safe!

Felicia

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