Sunday, September 30, 2012

Proud of my vagina

This is a vanilla post but one I feel compelled to write. Ladies, vagina is not a dirty word! Your vulva and clitoris should be, like your hair, face and the rest of your body, pampered and taken care of.

Let me explain:

A few weeks ago I was in the mood for a good documentary. I get in these moods every so often when the urge to learn is very overpowering. I switched on my computer and searched for one (legally of course!).

After going through many different titles, I found one called Petals: Vagina Dialogues.


Petals: Vagina Dialogues

I figured that, since I was alone in the house and my husband, bless his heart, is not one who openly can talk about sex (and neither am I but I am trying to change that), I was going to man up (pun intended) and watch what I assumed was going to be a spin off of the Vagina Monologues. I grabbed a duster and began cleaning as I listened to the opening credits.

When I was in university, I had the opportunity to see the Vagina Monologue. I, unlike my more sexually liberated friends, thought that it was completely inappropriate! How dare these women speak about a part of the body which should be hidden, protected and preserved. Never ever should it be named. I had obviously learned everything I needed to know in health class. I knew the names of the different parts of anatomy and what role they played in procreation and that is all I every needed to know!

Right?

Maybe?

Hell no!

The documentary was about a photographer named Nick Karras who created a book purely of pictures of vaginas. At first my thoughts went where I am sure a lot of women go, he obviously was a pervert just looking to get between a woman's legs. This thought lasted about thirty seconds when I realized, as I looked at the pictures on the screen and listening to him explain that he had started this project when his girlfriend at the time didn't want anyone to see what she saw as her deformed vulva.

I was fascinated. I stopped cleaning, sat on my bed and watched the entire movie. The documentary then goes on to interview many different people, men and women, sex experts, joggers, mothers, people walking in the park etc. I learned more about my body's "forbidden garden" then I ever had in the first quarter of a century of life and all the thoughts about how I had assumed that my vulva was not shaped perfectly because it had never been like those pictures in health class melted away. The experts went on to explain how each vulva and clitoris was different and needed to be petted, stroked, and loved in different ways. Petted? Loved? Those words had never really entered my mind before when thinking about that part of my body. Other people's yes, but mine?

That was it, I had to look at my vulva. I had no idea what it actually looked like but I was determined to know. This was a part of my body that had been with me from the beginning and since I knew intimately the other 90% of my skin, I wanted to make up for lost time. There is was, in all it's glory. And I now have the knowledge to please it and take care of it properly.

It took me 78 minutes to realize that: 1. yes I was ashamed that I had a vagina and had wanted to talk about it, 2. no my vagina is not misshaped or weird even though I was sure it was, and 3. yes I can now say vagina to pretty much anyone, even the man I married without blushing.

I would really recommend watching the documentary if you have a chance, even if you are comfortable in your own skin. Embrace your body as you do other aspects of your life and learn to love what makes you different.

That's it for now!

Stay safe everyone!

Felicia

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