Sunday, February 24, 2013

Defining myself

It's interesting, I have never been able to keep a diary or journal for more than a week at a time. I have always wanted to ever since I began reading as a child since I viewed the stories as such an intimate view into someone's life. It never really occurred to me to distinguished between fact and fiction in those early years. Since I was drawn to the historical novels like Little House on the Prairie, diaries and other historical documents were a natural leap for me as a grew. I lapped them up in my post secondary years, wondering if they ever thought someone would be so eager to read something that must have been so mundane to them.

I have been in a real funk lately, which always leads me to a desire to journal. I've been struggling with my kink, struggling with my work and writing, feeling frustrated when I am unable to communicate a very, for a lack of better work, simplistic need to someone I love very deeply and I trust, yet all I can do is sit in a chair and try and breathe.

Does he know about my interest in spanking? Yes, he has known for almost 10 years. Doesn't mean I was ready to share everything with him. There is so much more that I have learned in the last ten years that I want to share. It's just been hidden so long it's more of a comfort having it to myself than sharing with the world.

BUT

Getting back to the reason for this post: diaries! I recently joined an online group and it gives an option to fill in a little comment box about myself. I am a very private person so I find this type of activity very difficult to complete. To talk about myself seems boring while reading about others is interesting to me. So many different personalities and writing styles, one could get lost in the world of blogs.

One worries about giving too much information away, about missing out on friendships because not enough was given...yep, I'm a worrier.

Perhaps part of this stems from my lack of spanking stimulation and lack of contact with people with "like minds".

I am starting to ramble so it's time to stop!

I shall have to come up with a reason for this blog. It started as a outlet, then became a writers blog....now, I'm not sure anymore. I'll figure it out. Something always works out in time.

Stay safe everyone!

Felicia

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