Sunday, March 31, 2013

Sunday Musings - Age of consent

As I have difficulty sticking to one project at a time, I've been trying my hand at a more contemporary story/novel. An interesting juxtaposition I am having while starting this story is the idea of one's right to live/have the type of relationship you want while still living in what is considered a "healthy" relationship.

In a historical context, it's fairly easy to write spanking scenes where the line of consent is crossed. Human rights were not universal and even discouraged. Often women had more rights than we imagine (particularly in the middle ages for me) but they were given by men, protected by men, and taken by men. Fantasy/Sci Fi also lends itself well to non-consensual spankings as the author gets to make up the rules. Even in many contemporary societies, while spanking relationships may not be the norm, consent to other aspects of a relationship is not always legally required.

I've been reading/researching a fair amount of blogs by people who practice DD (Domestic Discipline) relationships and while that is not what my story is about at this point, I can certainly see the appeal of that lifestyle in many ways. Most speak of home being a more relaxed and fluent atmosphere, of being able to focus on their specific aspect of their life, and that their relationship changes as it needs to. One DD relationship never looks the same as another which is why I think I'm having difficulty defining how my characters will have a healthy relationship as I don't practice DD and doubt I will get the chance to try it (spanking games are fine but I doubt my partner will ever channel his inner Head of Household and I am fine with that). One common theme in all the blogs I would consider with healthy relationships is respect for both partners equally, which of course makes them very different from historical relationships where it may have been present, but it was certainly not required.

Some people are very comfortable with their kink and are okay with their need/want to be spanked. I'm the first to admit that I'm not always at ease with it which can make writing/asking/even blog hopping a challenge depending on the day.

On a slightly different but related topic, breastfeeding in public has come up a few times in the female dominated workforce I belong to, with varying opinions. As in our little spanking community and the BDMS community, what is totally normal and fine for one may not be for another. Where one draws the line differs from place to place, blog to blog, even couch seat to couch seat (or sofa for those who don't speak "Canadian").

I'm still exploring what a "healthy" spanking relationship means to me. Since I can't explore it right now in real life, I'm nine pages into it fictionally. And it's still evolving.

Just wanted to add this comic because I think it sums up my point nicely about how some find one behaviour natural and others find it repugnant.

I may not be crafty, but that is totally how I would respond....but I also probably would have been covering to begin with so does that mean I'm against public breast feeding? See my dilemma? I really need to channel my inner Voltaire...

So my question to you is how would you define a healthy spanking relationship, DD or otherwise? Has your definition changed over time?

Stay safe everyone!


Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to those who celebrate it!

And to those who don't, happy day off work!

Stay safe everyone!


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Sunday Musings - Happy St. Patrick's Day!


Well, no I'm not actually Irish, I'm Canadian but I'll take the spanking anyway!

I HATE being pinched and tickled (much to my partner's amusement!). And considering I have no green clothes that still fit...

I have never really been one to partake in the drinking side of the festivities but I dyed my hair green for the day once in my "rebellious" years. My parents flipped out when I came home until I, after a time, mentioned that it washed out in the shower. 

So what shenanigans have you gotten up to this fine, green day? Any past activities you now look back on with fondness?

Keep safe!

May you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows you're dead!


Edit: Sorry, don't know what happened there. Hopefully the post stays like it should
Edit again: Ok I give stays this way. Blogger: 1 Me: 0

Friday, March 15, 2013

Sunday Musings and questions

Ok, yes, I know it's Friday, but I started this post on Sunday and I'm going to finish my musings gosh darn it!

So life is hectic and although I seem to have gotten over my writers block (food always works, especially when you are eating for two!). I've managed 10 more pages in the last few weeks which is good for me. I've given up trying to finish my books by a self imposed deadline. That's what work is for. I like to try for fun while I write and I will continue to do to!

But that led to another conversation in my head.

I am not the most organized person, despite my best efforts. This applies to my work, my house, my writing. I'm what many term "learning disabled" (I am not getting into the argument of what I hate that term or into any argument with people of why they don't think it exists) and even though it applies mainly to academic work like writing, it really permeates all my life.

It drives my partner crazy too. I start a project but I tend to have to pause and rethink my plan, but my brain is slower than most in its processing speed (yep, it's been tested. 95% of people are faster thinkers than me!)  or I get distracted because something else has a more pressing time limit which I have to deal with first.

Which leads to the dilemma which led to the conversation in my head.

I've belonged to several forums and groups to do with spanking and one thing that always struck me is the use of spanking to try and form new habits and break old ones. It is not a lifestyle I would want to participate in but it did get me thinking.

Would a spanking help me focus more or be quicker at my work? It's a theme in many spanking stories and novels. A hot temper, not thinking actions through, or not behaving properly are often the antecedent to the punishment spanking.

Is this a bad thing? Of course not! It can lead to some very entertaining reading but in reality, for someone like me, would the threat of a spanking not make me write faster, complete tasks quicker or stay on one task longer than another? Probably not. It would just get me spanked more...which is not necessarily a bad thing.

I am very comfortable with my brain, and have been for some time. I find ways to get around the difficulties that I come up against in my every day life. I research organizational tips, software that will increase my ability to write quickly, or look for organizers to help me manage our food better.

But part of me always wonders...what if I asked my partner to help me write more regularly both here (hence a Sunday post on a Friday) or finish another chapter of my novels when I have the stories in my head.

Unfortunately I can hear his response "Why don't you use your speech-to-text software?" and he'd be right because those options are available to me, why not use them?


On a completely different note, I have noticed that March seems to be a "ask the blogger a question" month and I'd like to open that option to those who read this blog. I will try my best to actually answer them in a timely manner!

Keep safe!