Sunday, March 31, 2013

Sunday Musings - Age of consent

As I have difficulty sticking to one project at a time, I've been trying my hand at a more contemporary story/novel. An interesting juxtaposition I am having while starting this story is the idea of one's right to live/have the type of relationship you want while still living in what is considered a "healthy" relationship.

In a historical context, it's fairly easy to write spanking scenes where the line of consent is crossed. Human rights were not universal and even discouraged. Often women had more rights than we imagine (particularly in the middle ages for me) but they were given by men, protected by men, and taken by men. Fantasy/Sci Fi also lends itself well to non-consensual spankings as the author gets to make up the rules. Even in many contemporary societies, while spanking relationships may not be the norm, consent to other aspects of a relationship is not always legally required.

I've been reading/researching a fair amount of blogs by people who practice DD (Domestic Discipline) relationships and while that is not what my story is about at this point, I can certainly see the appeal of that lifestyle in many ways. Most speak of home being a more relaxed and fluent atmosphere, of being able to focus on their specific aspect of their life, and that their relationship changes as it needs to. One DD relationship never looks the same as another which is why I think I'm having difficulty defining how my characters will have a healthy relationship as I don't practice DD and doubt I will get the chance to try it (spanking games are fine but I doubt my partner will ever channel his inner Head of Household and I am fine with that). One common theme in all the blogs I would consider with healthy relationships is respect for both partners equally, which of course makes them very different from historical relationships where it may have been present, but it was certainly not required.

Some people are very comfortable with their kink and are okay with their need/want to be spanked. I'm the first to admit that I'm not always at ease with it which can make writing/asking/even blog hopping a challenge depending on the day.

On a slightly different but related topic, breastfeeding in public has come up a few times in the female dominated workforce I belong to, with varying opinions. As in our little spanking community and the BDMS community, what is totally normal and fine for one may not be for another. Where one draws the line differs from place to place, blog to blog, even couch seat to couch seat (or sofa for those who don't speak "Canadian").

I'm still exploring what a "healthy" spanking relationship means to me. Since I can't explore it right now in real life, I'm nine pages into it fictionally. And it's still evolving.

Just wanted to add this comic because I think it sums up my point nicely about how some find one behaviour natural and others find it repugnant.

I may not be crafty, but that is totally how I would respond....but I also probably would have been covering to begin with so does that mean I'm against public breast feeding? See my dilemma? I really need to channel my inner Voltaire...

So my question to you is how would you define a healthy spanking relationship, DD or otherwise? Has your definition changed over time?

Stay safe everyone!



  1. I know this is an old post but I just found your blog so Heyyy!! lol good to meet u...

    Anyway I read your other post about Gay marriages and I love your open mindedness and how u worded it..the procreation part was a good thought..I'm not for it but I'm not to judge either..Funny thing though most lesbians I know already have kids, been married to a man and they decided living with a woman is easier lol I don't know about that lmbo..

    anyway to your post at hand. When my middle son was born a long time friend lived w us..I would be nursing and he would come in the room or someone needed me..I tried staying covered and in the end if it we both decided it was to much hassle for me to stay covered lol so I did the best I could..I was in my house though...

    As for a DD relationship this is tricky because everyone defines it differently and some would probably consider my husband a tad harsh and maybe abusive at times..but he doesn't stifle me or what I want so I think its important that the woman feels loved and not abused...

    ok all u get to know me u will learn I'm long winded lol

    1. Hello Daisy!

      I'm glad you found me. It is always great to see new faces around here!

      You are definitely right about feeling loved and not abused. If it works for you and is safe then all the power to you.


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